the little star is bigger

A year later,

a century later,

or a whole turn of a galaxy later,

a child was holding onto her mother’s hand and looking up at the stars. She pointed up to the sky and she said

>What is that beautiful star called? It looks like it is dancing?

The mother smiled and said

>That is a new star and it shines brighter with every year

>I would like to shine like that star, the little girl said.

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the beginning

A heart is what happens when a yes fills the space of possibility,

And the universe reaches out to gather it into her vastness.

She gives it shape and form so it can express itself through her;

She gives us bodies so we can learn how to love

finding ones voice

There was once a little girl who said nothing. She was so shy she couldn’t speak, if she opened her mouth to ask someone something no sound would come out, even when she was on her own she couldn’t say anything. She would practice in front of the mirror and make the shape of the words with her mouth but no sound would come out, she would write them down and whisper them into her pillow but as soon as she stood on front of people she would freeze and her mouth would form a smile and that was it.
People all thought she was just happy and calm and they would tell her all of their problems until she felt like she was full of everyone else and there was no room for her own thoughts. One morning she even woke up and realized she was even dreaming someone elses’ dreams. This is it, she thought, I have to do something about this, I need help.
‘I need help’, she told the universe, and the universe said ‘ok’
Now at the time, she was also looking for a job and the very next morning a friend rang her looking for her ‘I have a job for you’ she said ‘a live in nanny for this very old lady whose daughter is going traveling for a month. She is a dear but she can’t hear very well and she refuses to wear a hearing aid, you will have to shout’
‘Ok’ said the girl
At first the girl and the old woman didn’t get on at all. The girl couldn’t shout and the old lady would get frustrated with her and then the girl would get frustrated with the old woman until finally one day the girl shouted at the top of her voice ‘WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA!’ and the old lady answered ‘Why yes dear, thanks for asking’. Then the girl shouted everything and they got along great.
Now the girl can shout and she does and she speaks up and people can hear her even in crowded bars or on trains or in noisy streets and she is much happier having found her voice.

I wish…

…uFor a place surrounded by trees, in a warm place but not too hot. It gets cool in the evening and dusk and dawn are the best times to be out doors. There is a spring there gushing clean clear water from deep in the rocks and a well full of life and greenness where the frogs come to play and raise young and goldfish swim in lazy circles in the cool water. A fig tree overshadows the pool and is a beautiful shaded spot to sit during the heat of the day and my dog spends most of his day crashed out in the shade watched by my cat from the branch above.
The land surrounding is large full of huge old trees and I let it go to wild. Grow however it wishes with paths winding their way through the trees and art work hidden here and there. A carving of a face hanging from a tree, a sculpture made from old tractor parts being overgrown by trailing plants and a tiny seat and a house for elves under a tree somewhere. Nobody else wanted this land because it was ‘useless’, because no crop plants would grow there or it was too steep or for whatever reason but it was waiting for me to come and live there and there is magic in this place and power and I nurture it with benign neglect. I plant trees like fig and orange and pecan and avocado and passion fruit and lychee and mandarin.
Attached to my kitchen is a greenhouse for the birds to live. Canaries fly free in the high domed space of the greenhouse and the stream from the spring winds its way through the floor and out the other side. The house is old and comfortable and there was love in the building of it. Little nooks and crannies await precious things to fill them, a stone, a light, a candle, an ornament, a found thing from the garden. I have a space in which to make my art, maybe off the greenhouse so the birds are free to fly in and out. The bathroom is huge and has a huge bath in which to soak and a steamroom.
A little ways away on the land is the circular workshop space. The centre is roofless and has a small pool fed by a diverted arm of the spring and around the edge of the circle are spaces for beds and hammocks screened by netting for privacy and protection from the insects. One section of the circumference is a room for yoga and meditation and has an old stove for warmth during the cold season and in the evenings. The smell of warm wood smoke and incense permeates this room and it welcomes all who enter. The walls are white and the floor is wood with cushions and rugs on the floor. Connected by a round passageway to the entrance to the circle is the kitchen with an oven and a huge wooden table in the centre. The floor is stone and the walls are curved and soft. A herb garden is just outside the kitchen door with chives and parsley and oregano and basil and rosemary and dill.
Coyotes wander through the land and deer and Tlacuaches and all insects and animals are welcome. There is protection on the land which protects all who live there from harm and a peace which works it way in on the spirit of all who come and visit, staying with them when they leave to go back to their lives again. The sea is close, a quick drive away down the mountain to get to a beautiful beach where I snorkel and swim and relax in the waves.
I think that just about covers it!
I wish for the above and I call it into my life and I ask for the support of the universe to manifest this into reality. I thank you and I am open to receive all good in my life. X Cliodhna

there is a part of me that…

There is a part of me that…

The is a part of me that is my two dogs searching and snuffling and getting excited about the fresh donkey droppings

There is a part of me that is the men going down to the mine to extract minerals

There is a part of me that is the truck, carrying those two men

There is a part of me that is the earth, round and complete and self sufficient

There is a part of me that the rock on which I stand

There is a part of me that is these mountains

There is a part of me that is the air the stretches out before me that seemingly separates me from ‘here’ and ‘there’

There is a part of me that is that tree, leaves, branches, twigs, the dead branch, growing, roots searching for water, limbs stretching towards the sun

There is a part of me that is that star, shining in emptiness that is not empty, unique, filling my surroundings with light, unafraid to be me

There is a part of me that is that insect circling its little space on this earth. Its whole world that it knows and its instinct that drives it

There is a part of me that was that strange shadow that I saw flow over the cliff face in front of me. Twilight to far gone to understand it, the part of me that feels fear at the unknown and strange

There is a part of me that is the gathering night. Change from light to darkness back to light again, rhythm of life, rhythm of change

we are made of love

We are made of love.

That’s it, full stop, actually don’t need to add anything else, though I could substitute the word ‘love’ for ‘light’ or ‘energy’ or ‘will’.

I have been in awe for a while at the sheer amazingness, unbelivability, simply incredibleness of this existence I partake in. A bit hippy and a lot happy…

But it’s true! We are beings of light and love and held together by our own will and image of ourselves. It’s an act of power to be here in the first place and we take it for granted so much. We worry about our jobs, cars, insurance, the news, the enemy at our gates, politics and sports. We spend all our energy avoiding facing the wonderness of where we are because it is just too damn huge to take in. Or we use drugs to face it while still keeping a veil between us and it.

Stand, little humble, tiny me, without armor or protection in the great wind of existence. I exist, so I have the right to see this. I am here to learn how to be all that I am, not to make money or have children or be a famous artist, though they might happen on the learning journey, they are not the reason I am here.

I am here to learn how to see past my own folly and past the folly of others to the heart of it all. To the source, the fountain of knowledge, power, existence, inside my own being.

There is the risk that the wind will dissolve me, make me nothing and my ego goes into battle mode. How dare he say that, or how can she act that way or he is a wimp or she is ugly. Judgments… how my mind keeps control on me. Stop me from stepping into my own birthright.

My mind is small, my spirit is huge, my mind cannot see past it’s own understanding, my soul is beyond understanding. My mind wants facts, reassurances, control, my heart wants to play and dance and sing. My mind would have me die before it lets go of control, spirit is not afraid of death. The mind is frantic to discover a way of holding on, the heart is infinitely patient, it knows mind will run out of energy sooner or later.

Choose knowledge, freedom, happiness and tell the mind to take a holiday. x