Posted by Cliodhna
… is a very old art that I have great difficulty in coming to terms with in the moment yet when I look back on situations I realise they happened at the perfect time and I couldn’t have made it any more perfect. This applies to little things like catching a train or going for coffee and to big things like when to travel to mexico.
Yesterday wandering around dublin doing posters I am waiting for my friend to come and collect me to go to her house. I think she must be getting close, I move towards the curbside and who do I see cycling towards me but a college friend I completely lost touch with. I smile at her and she sees me and her faces changes to puzzlement for a second and then she smiles and she stops the bike beside me.
Or I wanted to go to galway today to do posters and then the woman who was going to give me a lift out to a hotel calls and says she can’t so I rethink my plans maybe leaving galway open maybe waiting till friday and I ring a friend to say hi and it turns out her dad had died on sunday so I am going home instead to go to the funeral. If I had gone to galway I wouldn’t have rung her, but it turns out I am exactly where I need to be.
I get worried about not doing enough or in time and life constantly shows me that things happen exactly when they are supposed to happen and the more time I spend struggling against it then the longer I will suffer. The fear comes in when my mind thinks it wants certain things and thinks that if I stop working towards those things then I won’t get them and instead of seeing a future filled with other wonderful possibilities and happenings and achievements it just sees a future of minus the things it thinks it wants. A future of lack.
kind of like the state of the economy in ireland at the moment… everyone is seeing a future of lack and poverty…
also, the posters I am putting up refer to these workshops. I will write some more about them in a bit but here is the link to check them out right now Toltec Self Mastery Workshops and if you want an email with more info on prices and locations email me and I will send it to you
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Posted by Cliodhna
which doesn’t happen in mexico… completely ignored in fact, though once a mexican person knows I am irish I get to hear the story about the turn coat irish who adandoned the american side in some border war a long time ago when they were still fighting over texas and ran over to the mexican side to fight for them instead.
thats the thing about being irish the whole world is happy to see you, generally for stuff thats completely cliched like an ability to drink the rest of the pup under the table (my alchohol tolerance is practically zero) and myths of the fighting irish from american history. We would pour off the famine ships dirty, hungry and looking for the nearest bar.
One thing about being irish from over the seas is that there is a view of ireland that is completely romanticised and in soft focus and hazy memory and nothing what-so-ever to do with the reality of back home. I suppose this happens with any displaced people and there is a part of irelands history that is everything to do with being displaced from need and a hope for a better place somewhere else and if you weren’t the one to go personally then all your hopes and dreams went with the person who was going. Even now every single family I know has relatives in america or england.
Maybe it is buried in our physce to consider somewhere else as better, more money, more opportunities, someone from somewhere else is more exotic, wiser, richer, better; or maybe thats just me. Its one thing I have realised in all my travels. Doesn’t matter where I am or what I doing its still me being there and doing it and trying to find that better place just doesn’t work because I can’t run away from me.
Posted by Cliodhna
I am going to Ireland soon, In a week and a half, I am looking forward to going back and meeting my friends and smelling the air. It will be spring time which is particularly changeful; As far as smells went and the possibility of change spring and autumn were always my favourite months.
Ireland holds a lot of memories for me, of course, it being the country I grew up in and it always has a hint of mundaneness about it, like I am going home and somewhere else is more exciting. I suppose there are a lot of issues sitting in Ireland waiting for me to see, like my relationship to my parents and all the stuff I still haven’t looked at from growing up or hopes and wishes never fulfilled or embarrassments or bad times I buried or ran away from.
It has a lot of good stuff too, it is a reconnection to the past in a good way also, a reminder of dreams I had and wanted to fulfill but now I am coming round in a spiral a little more ready to bring them to light or truly abandon them and leave them out of my live. A clearing of house one might say, a good old spring clean of the inner psyche.
It has taken me a while to truly accept that I now ‘live’ in another country rather than just travelling and sooner or later I would be going back to Ireland. Now when I visit it is for visit and I have joined the ranks of the millions of ex pat Irish living abroad and returning to the old sod for Christmas and the occasional summer vacation. I think there are more of us than there are Irish actually living in the country. If we all returned at once Ireland would probably sink!
Posted by Cliodhna
There once was a prince that lived in a kingdom of shadows and rain. The colours were shiny and bright when the sun shone and the dark and gloomy and grey when it was raining, which was often. He loved it when the sun shone and he thought how amazing it would be if the sun always shone.
He had a cousin who lived in a far away land and so the prince abandoned his kingdom to go and live with his cousin in the land when the sun never stopped shining and when it rained it was a relief and a joy.
This land appeared at him to be barren at first. With so much sun and so little rain there were very few plants and the plants that did grow were tall and prickly or small and stubby and the animals were thin and scrawny from lack of water and at first he missed the greenness and bright colours of his own land. He loved the warmth of the sun though and so he stayed.
He began to look properly at the land where he was, and he realized thought the desert looked empty it was actually full of life. When he looked closer there were subtle colours he had not noticed before, pale greens and purple pinks and slow growing dry lichen covering the rocks and tiny flowers that grew and died in a day and bright red ants and shiny black spiders with hourglasses in warning red on their backs and pale almost clear scorpions that looked as fragile as water but packed a punch in their curved tails. When it rained the desert burst into life and colour and bright green singing frogs emerged from everywhere by magic and the spiny plants gave forth huge flowers.
The next time he went home to his own rainy land he looked at it differently also and he saw all the colours he had not seen before. Colours that were beautiful, not grey and sad like he had thought before. Earth colours and greens and rich colours and dark brown mountain water from the rich peat lands and mosses a foot deep that were cushiony to walk on and when it rained they glistened and shone with life. He realized that these colours were a part of him also, he had grown up with them, they were in his innermost being and in his dreams and he loved them.
He remembered when he was younger not understanding colours, being afraid of them when he painted pictures and not knowing how to use them and being clumsy with them and he realized it was because he didn’t like his own colours and he was trying to use other colours. He had to understand and love his own colours before he could understand them and use them how he wished in his paintings. He began to use these colours and to look around him for inspiration for his colours and he became much happier than he had been before. Now he can be in his own land and love the colours there or be in the land of sun and heat and love the colours there also.
Posted by Cliodhna
I was on a yoga and meditation day on saturday down in Claire just beside the burren in a place called the Holywell. Amazing place. I said to a friend, the grass is so green here in Ireland! and she smiled and said You sound just like an american. I laughed, its true, americans generally when they come here at some point will say exactly that.
But it is true about the grass,, coming from where I have been living in mexico, high desert, where the plants struggle for water and the cattle and horses are bone skinny and are constantly cropping close little brown spiky tufts of grass, to come here is to marvel at the greeness and the softness of the ground. I was scrubbing for wild garlic in the wood yesterday and was amazed at the depth of the moistness and softness. Old leaves and moss and returning to earth mulch. In mexico I learn to see the subtle colours and little signs of life and signs of water and new buds on a tree stand out from miles away. Here there is no stopping it.
On the car front I bought a 1998 Ford escort, metallic blue, reaaaaalllllllly cool! the first day it was home I kept taking sneak peeks out my window just to look at it. Insurance was bought yesterday and I am collecting the owners papers tomorrow so i can tax and register it. and then there will be no more excuses!
On an art front, not doing a whole lot right now, I am missing some permanent studio space what with coming here and then for the last while in mexico being in transit between old guanajuato and new chihuahua. (more about that later) But I have one commission from the parents for an embroidery for a 50th wedding anniversary, a commision for a childs mural that needs to be discussed and talked about, a craft competition to enter for and a gallery to find. Lots of doing things in front of me. Ok, off to bray to apply for a new passport and call into the fabric store and oohh and aahh over their wonderful things…
love and light ya’ll !
Posted by Cliodhna
I am coming back to Ireland in a week! how soon time rolls around…
Back to mists and mellow fruitfulness and away from my new found watering hole under a railway bridge and constant sun and dust (dust has permeated my pores, especially since the water in the house we are staying in ran out so no showers or washing dishes) and dogs sleeping away the day and barking at each other all night.
So news for those of ye in Ireland who are interested in self discovery and exploration and healing of the body and being. There is some workshops happening now and for May in Co Claire in a retreat (language school) called Holywell. Its on the edge of the burren and a very inspiring place to be. The work is Toltec and is about facing yourself and your wounds and healing them. The teacher is Luis Molinar who was an apprentice to Miguel Ruiz who wrote ‘The Four Agreements” and “The Mastery of Love” and he is a very understanding gentle teacher. I have worked with him now for about four years, various workshops in Ireland and trips to the pyramids in mexico.
Dreaming is changing your dream. We are dreaming right now, creating our world from the energy we carry and send out and everything we see is a reflection of our inner being, the beautiful side as well as the side we don’t want to admit to carrrying. In dreaming you take the limited side and literally re-dream it. Change takes place on a deep level.
I always find I have changed after doing these workshops even if it seems nothing was happening at the time. Its like a glacier melting. Small streams grow to big streams and then all of a sudden when you are least expecting it a whole big chunk falls off and there is a lighter quality of being. I love doing them, I love the quality of energy that surrounds them and that stays with me after I leave the world of the course and go back out into the big world again.
For me also its about getting rid of all pre-conceptions I have about the world. All the ways of looking at the world I was taught growing up and that I don’t want anymore. To be able to really see the world through love and not through the smoky mirror of my own thoughts and habits. Leap of faith into true freedom of spirit.
I have posted the poster but if anyone wants a bigger file of it post a comment or email me and I’ll send it to you. He is also doing private sessions of an hour long in his house in claire but they fill up fast and sure maybe see you at a workshop!
I will be going to the yoga day and then the Language of love. There is a mens workshop also. I know this is kinda short notice but I have been distracted lately, hard to get to internet and then when I generally did have it I was working so not much room for keeping up with the list of ‘things to do’. There is a link to Luis’s site in my blogroll or here http://toltecheartwisdom.com/
love and light!
Posted by Cliodhna
I have just joined a great website called red bubble. I upload my pictures/paintings and they sell them as wall art or greeting cards or T-shirts! they do the printing and the shipping and I get the commission what whatever I sell. They also make sure that everything is of the highest quality possible so now I can stop my seemingly fruitless search for a giclee printer and leave it all up to them!
I found out about it from Christina, a fellow Irish Arts Blogger and this is her page on Red Bubble. Thanks christina!
I just need a higher resolution camera. The photos I took with my mums camera in Ireland are large enough for small/medium prints but the one here I am using in mexico just isn’t big enough. Soon! This is the one I think I want!
Tomorrow is final day for the one world one heart giveaway and then its draw the name time! I am actually quite excited to see if I win anything.
Ok, have a great wednesday ya’ll! hope all your dreams come true!
