cliodhna’s wave

What do you want for yourself in your life? Now what are you intending for yourself in your life? Because unless the two of these match then what you want will always be waylaid by what you intend.

Intention is the big brother of ‘I want’. ‘I want’ comes first, in the shape of a wish, a desire, a thought about the future or a question asked to the universe. Then comes the intention.

Intention is in the choices we make for ourselves in every moment, which is why intention always trumps Want. If we want to be rich and have a successful career but have fears about revealing our art work/ selves/ abilities to the outside world then however much the desire is there we will choose hiding and not taking the risk. That is called intending failure. I know, I did it for many years… I was an expert in intending failure.

Came a day though when I shifted the intention to success, then and only then could I start to build my life around success. I remember I decided that if I wanted to be an artist then I wanted to make money being an artist so I could make more art and spend my days doing what I loved doing most.

This shift doesn’t happen over night though, patience is required and a good hard examination of my intention every now and then helps also.

Here’s the trick, you see the thing is that life has many surprises in store for us on this journey we are on and the only thing for certain is that ‘success’ is not going to be what your mind thought it was. The wish has to come from your heart, what your heart really wants.

So it is a five step process

#1 Make the wish from your heart

#2 Intend success

#3 Let go of any expectations and attachment to outcome

#4 When the choice comes up in every moment ask yourself, before blindly making it, which one coincides with my intention at this moment

#5 Trust that is all going according to plan and enjoy the journey

It is hard… my mind jumps in and judges me and tells me I am on the wrong road and I should be somewhere else or doing something else or just plain a different person. My idea of success was selling lots of bags and artwork and making lots of money but that is not happening as quickly as I thought. Then I realize, my artwork is maturing and becoming freer and closer to my wishes for it and my business brain is slowly coming together and I know if a big opportunity had come my way in the past I think I would have failed at it due to lack of preparation. That opportunities come when I am ready to receive them.

My ‘I am not good enough’ thoughts have sabotaged me for long enough though. I am not going to listen to them any more. I am happy and blessed and I am following my heart and that in the end is really all you have to do… x

I finished the two paintings I was working on. Time to tell the story. Paul kept asking me what they were about and I would just say ‘you know, freedom’ very articulate I know but sometimes I can’t say until they are finished and I am so much better at writing this than saying them. So here it is!

I had a dream about a wee brown bird. I took this brown bird away from where it was living because I wanted to protect it. The bird was angry with me for having done this and was going to fly back to where it came from. I was really worried about it because I figured it was too small to do this safely but then I looked and the brown bird had turned into a young man with a backpack on his back and I realised he could do it if he wanted.

The moral of the story? wee brown birds are perfectly capable of looking after themselves

The meaning of the dream? I am that part of me that I figure can’t look after myself. I mother the bird, trying to protect it and it gets angry with me for not letting it live its own life. The bird/young man is that part of me that is very able to take care for itself but just looks small and fragile right now. I have to stop trying to look after it and trying to keep it by me but let it fly and go where it wants to go. Let myself go where I want to go and do what I want to do and trust myself and my wishes and heart wants in life.

I will have the other finished painting and the story behind it in a day or two..

x