cliodhna’s wave

I have a new website at www.greenbirddreaming.com.

I was very impressed with myself when it was actually up and running on the internet. Its my first time making a website and getting it online. Its all very simple now that I know how but there were many times when my head felt like it was going to melt from an overload of information and the need to know about html, hosting, ftp files, page design, tables and making them do what I wanted them to do.

Now I know!

If anyone is wishing to make their own site here are some links that I used

www.fatcow.com is my hosting site and is very clear and easy and the tech support is great

http://pho.to/webalbum/ is the gallery i downloaded and then changed the colours and stuff to suit myself

http://kompozer.net/ is the free downloadable page editor to make your own pages

all good stuff and easy to navigate

good luck!

A year later,

a century later,

or a whole turn of a galaxy later,

a child was holding onto her mother’s hand and looking up at the stars. She pointed up to the sky and she said

>What is that beautiful star called? It looks like it is dancing?

The mother smiled and said

>That is a new star and it shines brighter with every year

>I would like to shine like that star, the little girl said.

A heart is what happens when a yes fills the space of possibility,

And the universe reaches out to gather it into her vastness.

She gives it shape and form so it can express itself through her;

She gives us bodies so we can learn how to love

people with candles where their hearts should be, or stars, shining out to show our true selves past who we think we are

my victim self pulling my real self behind her on a cart, the power self is tied up, unable to move or act because the victim is running my life for me,

morning face… the face i have on in the morning before my first cup of coffee to wake me up

a wave of the sun destroying the earth, like in that film presagio, I had a dream about it where I was trying to hide in cow shit to protect myself. Meaning of dream? I think I was afraid of the suns power and being swallowed up by its flames and so I hide in cow shit. Cow shit= waste from a domesticated animal who gives and gives and gives, or rather we take and take and take. I realised a few days later that the sun will only burn the pysical selfs, that which is not light and my essence would be left. We are all light anyway pretending to be humans.

the picture I drew in Cancun of a male figure standing beside the sea perspiring because of the heat, the sun blazes in the top left hand corner, maybe i will put a fish in each drop of persperation. Water… emotions…. the mind…

Here is where the little star meets the first shadow who starts to tell it lies about itself

it gets smaller and smaller and more and  more shadows start to feed off its light,

I have just sent the ilustrations of my crow story to the printers so my very first book will be out very soon! It will be in irish, translated by my dad.

in a galaxy, close to here or far away from here, it does not matter, a short while ago or a long while ago, this also does not matter, there is movement in the stillness, a growing and a coming forward, a stretching of life and an awareness of something new…

I have been away from this blog for a bit, i ran out of inspiration, things to say and had a bit of a funk of what do I have to say that anyone wants to listen to anyway.

I have been busy though and following an email form my brother this morning wanting to know what me and my sister were up to (her blog) I decided this was the morning to dive in there again.

I have been working on a story called the little star. I am making puppets and taking photos of them and then doing cool things to them in photoshop. I have come a long way in photoshop since I first started using it about a year ago. Then I would labourisly colour areas and have to recolour them if it was wrong and I didn’t know about layers and selecting areas and clone tool and all sorts. My most recent discovery with it was the liquid filter…. oh joy of joys now I can do all the spirals I want!!!!!

It has been raining pretty constantly here in Galway and I finally realised yesterday why mexico is so dry. Because all the rain is here in Ireland! I am looking forward to going back to hot dryness now.

It is one thing I have learnt doing this work and seeing myself more and more clearly, that women keep themselves small so that men will love them. We blame the men but really it is us that need to stand up and reclaim our power. No more victims, no more ‘poor me’.

I have also been asking myself why I write this blog. Does it really help what I want to achieve in my life right now? It has been really good for me to do this, public expose of my inner doubts and fears which I have always kept secret but now I need to re-evaluate why I write here and what purpose I want it to serve. I think I will keep it ticking along until I figure it out.

What else, I talked to my mother about doing this work, the Toltec path, which I had never done before, fears of their judgment I suppose which is really my own. Also stuff about how we take on things from our parents and how unsaid emotions go to the person who is saying them and if no one is saying them then they rattle around looking for some sort of a release. I was happy afterwards I talked to her about it but there was also a part of me really worried she was going to be angry, and I could feel myself wanting to run and reassure her.

I need to reassure myself. I cannot change or fix someone else. Old dream, look after everyone else first and give all your energy away so you have nothing left. New Dream, heal yourself first then you will have energy to give to others from love and not from limitation.

So with love, from a surprisingly sunny morning in salthill, galway…..

i did these for a ten year old called Megan who loves her dog called Odie. They are quite simple, I do a little applique and some beading and then I sew them onto good paper. When I put them in the frames that they had sent they looked really good.
I think I will do some more. Put them in cheap frames from the Local hardware store. the frames I got to fill for these were really nice and only cost ten euro.
I was thinking I could do the craft fair again with smaller stuff like this to sell for maybe 40 euro or 50 euro a pop.
For now I will do some and put them on my etsy site. See what happens!