cliodhna’s wave

First my newest embroidery. I was having artists block, feeling stuck, a bit down about my art, not going anywhere, not knowing what to do when I said Hey! I can do a picture about it. Because sometimes the best thing to do to get rid of a block is just do something, anything to get the energy flowing again. This image poped into my head and I got out the sewing machine and got to work.

Her hair is flowing looking for ideas and she has a paintbrush in her hand ready to paint and the colour green is good because its the heart chakra colour and that is where all the best images and art flows from.

I go through cycles with art. i want to paint big and loose for a while and then small and detailed. I want to do pretty purses and colourful nice things and then i want to express meaningful truths and deep meaning. I like the flow of paint and then the texture of fabric. I like writing and then thats not enough and I want to draw. I lose all inspiration and get lost in doing other work for a while. Like being a waitress for a few months or being a secretary and pure logic, organizing files and putting sense onto chaos. Then it is time to toss the order and explore the unformed and possibility again.

In the Toltec work that I do it says we are all artists that we create our lives every second, every minute, with every thought and word and choice we make. So when we create a piece of artwork or a meal or write we are extending ourselves outwards into the world to leave form on how we are as people. So for me being a secretary or a waitress or working in a shop is not abandoning my art but it is exploring me as an artist and my life as I am creating it right now. and if you think, but I am not an artist look around you at your life and see what you have created. Even the fact that we are here and have existence is a huge act of sorcery. Now if we could only stop taking it for granted and worrying about the little stuff (whats that quote.. don´t stress the little stuff.. and remember its all little stuff)

I finally got pictures of the beautiful spider outside our house. I had thought she had made her egg sac and died but no. Yesterday I saw her legs sticking out from behind the brick and then looking closer her black shiny body. You can just see a shade of red on her belly (she is hanging upside down) from the hourglass mark. She is a BIG spider. Not as big as those hairy wolf spiders but large enough and more threatening looking.

One of her babies and an egg sac. There have been two egg sacs that have hatched but apparently they eat each other and she eats them so they are lucky to survive.

as one more picture of the valleys from around here. I have sooooo many cloud and sunset pictures. This one is from early in the morning when the clouds haven´t lifted yet. Wonderful looking from the outside and grey and misty from the inside.

my new threadless design. From a brief about democracy. Its in the running at the moment so you can vote for it!!!!!

I figured a worldful of happy people all dancing. That would be great, wouldn´t it?

also photos from Naica which are caves here in Chihuahua. They are huge crystal caves so far underground you need to bring oxygen with you to breathe.

I would love to go.

I have been workng the past few days and now can go back to my sewing machine. looking forward to some days just sewing. i am finishing one at the moment.

x clio

squeamish people stop reading right here

No 1… Tapeworms

yes, when they appear squirming and wriggling in my puppies poop. Hold hand over my nose to avoid the stench and peer closely at these white moving things. What are they… little flat worms like flat grains of rice. A search on google comes up with tapeworms and apparently these are the segments that are pooped out. They get them from fleas, sheep shit, cow shit and various other things. We can get them too, mae me a bit paranoid for a few days, lots of wasing of hands and scrubbing under the fingernails after cleaning up after her (she is resisting the whole concept of house training)

No 2… Kennel Cough

Puppy started a hacking cough as if something is stuck in her throat. Its like a dog flu or cold, called canine cough or kennel cough. It gets transmited by air and if their immune systems aren`t strong they get it. Try listening to it at four in the morning.

No 3… ants

The weirdest of the three. Last night I opened the kitchen drawer to get some tinfoil and noticed ants in the tinfoil box again. Took out the box and saw them at the mouth of the tube. Lifted up the tube and looked inside, hundreds of ants! !$%/&&%%$!!!!!!!!!! got the tube outside and banged it on the ground and out comes a mound of ants and grubs. I threw the tube away. I did think about saving the tinfoil off it but dismissed that as over zealous not wanting to waste stuff.

Hopefully thats it. There are moths coming from somewhere also though. Little moths that are dusty like clothes moths. I am wondering are they the grubs and the ants were eating the grubs. Insects are strange sometimes. There are just so many of them!

Zopilotes is spanish for Vulture and these guys are turkey vultures who live in the mountains of chihuahua. I was getting the train back from Chihuahua city (awesome train ride, goes through what is called the Barrancas del Cobre. In parts deeper and wider than the grand canyon in america) and just got a glimpse as we passed of all these vultures dining on a (very) dead cow. The image stuck with me and became this painting.
These birds are incredibly common here. You can see six or seven of them at a time hovering in a circle over some distant valley. I wonder do they have a special ’somethings going to die’ sense.

and check out my sisters new blog/online portfolio Grainne Quinlan. She is currently looking for a job in an animation studio so if anyone has any ideas. She worked on El Tigre, a super cool cartoon set in Mexico city. In one episode they are being attacked by evil guacamole and the arch villaness is an electric guitar playing skeleton called Katana

Also while I am at it the company here in mexico is looking for an Autocad drawer (must be good, with experience) to draw the ramps and drifts under the ground. Pay is good and no expenses! Anyone know anyone?

First a picture I have finished about here. The frogs that come out of nowhere when the rain arrives.

and  as I said in my last post I took some photos of where I work a few days a week. I do translation and basic administration for supposedly three days a week but actually more like four and last week was five.

Its a mad place. I never thought I would end up doing secretarial work but there is a part of me that just adores organising things. Its a gold and silver mine in the mountains in Chihuahua. There is an open pit and the people I work for do underground mining. The first time Paul took me underground in the mine in Guanajuato I was scared, for about an hour, and then I was fine one tunnel pretty much looks like every other tunnel to me and I had imagined big crystal caves and strange rocks. He did point out some brown dirt and said that it was almost pure gold.

There is a place here in chihuahua where you can go really deep underground into huge crystal caves. So deep you need to bring oxygen with you to breathe.

Huge machinery abounds here. Sometimes I reckon its an excuse for men to play with really big toys and nothing to do with the actual mining.

The portal of the underground mine. They will connect soon with old workings that were abandoned years and years ago.

The roads into here are tight, extrmely steep in places, curvy, muddy, slippy, dangerous and I don{t know how they manage to bring the huge machinery in on them. Some machinery is so big they have a tractor behind the truck pushing it! It takes them three days sometimes to travel what takes us three hours in a jeep. They camp out along the way and go extremly slllooooooowwly.

We were driving home one night and saw this guy standing by the side of the road. Cominvi is the contract company we work with. We have no idea who put the hat and safety vest on him. There are so many donkeys on the roads here, with a wonderfully zen attitude to life. They fall asleep where ever. Paul came across one in the middle of the road asleep, he drove really close to it, no movement, he honked his horn, not a blink of the eye, he inched very slowly up to it and nudged it with the bumper of his pick-up. Not an inch did this guy move until finally he ambled ever so peacefully off to the side of the road. Amazing attitude to life wha!

Amazing cloud formations this time of year, I just keep taking photos of them.

And on the way to the mine in the morning

and on the way home that night looking back over to the mine

Its all blue skies here at the moment although supposedly there is a storm on the way from the ocean. Have to see what it brings with it!

… is a long slow messy process. Once again I am cleaning up piss at 3 in the morning and getting all stupid and baby talky when he actually does it outside.. who’s the good little puppy wuppy!!

I am of the stick their noses in it, shout NO and throw them outside school. As he gets older a slap on the but gets added. It seemed to take ages with Cubo until he quit doing it inside. I tied him beside the bed at night to teach him to ask me if he needed to go out. They don’t like doing it in their sleeping area and he would whine until I woke up and took him outside. I have to start doing that with the puppy but I am afraid Cubo might step on him (which he does frequently and the puppy squeaks, I was joking yesterday that he is Cubo’s squeaky toy). Cubo is like an incredibly clumsy enormous older brother but the puppy has incredibly sharp teeth which he uses on poor ol Cubo. They play and either Cubo is whining or the puppy is squeaking.

His name actually means ’stick’ not ’spade’ Pala is a spade but that ends in ‘a’ so it can’t be a boys name. Well, it could but I actually thought palo meant spade. I get confused sometimes!

We have moved house, away from all the spiders and alacranes living in all the cracks of the brick work and away from the pond and the frogs to the civilisation of tarmac and a shop just a block away. I did see a big Black Widow spider living in a pile of bricks right outside the house. She can stay there.

Scorpion Charm….. catch the scorpion/alacrane in a jar or something with a piece of paper underneath. Take it outside somewhere dry (they like dry places with crawly spaces) and explain very carefully that it has to tell all its friends to stay away from the house. That they will probably get squished if they come in. Then let it go (carefully.. sometimes they get a bit pissed from being caught) step away and leave it alone. Sometimes you have to do it a few times but they get the message and stay away. This works with all insects, bugs, vertebrates, and all sized shaped wonderfully coloured creepy crawly things.

rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain

did I mention it was raining?

the rain starts at approx four o clock every day, the roads turn into muddy rivers, muddy rivers occupy any available downward trajectory. Its cold and wet and the thunder and lightning complete the picture.

All the creepy crawlies are coming into the houses to find dryness. Paul got stung by a scorpion. It fell from the ceiling onto his head. He sits up in the darrkness saying ’something just landed on my head’ and then OWW, something stung me, man that stings, $%#@#$, Light goes on and there it is, an alacrane, pale brown, bout an inch and a half long. Two of us sitting in the bed at four in the morning wondering was it the really dangerous kind or not. He was fine after an injection. He also saw a huge centipede in the sink and there are spiders everywhere…..

I finally saw a whole turtle today after days of just heads dissapearing under the water.

A swallow, who has a nest beneath the house, drinking water sitting on a wire.

A wonderfully coloured beetle. I actually thought it was a fake one until I picked it up. There also dung beetles with big horns on their foreheads a beautiful iridesant blue. as long as your thumb.

There are loads of lizards here, tiny small and so fast you rarely see them. This guy was doing a chest stuck out thing and I wondered what he was doing until I caught a glimpse of smaller brown one dissapear beneath a rock and this one after it. So I guess rainy season is courting season for the lizards.

Another picture of Cubo and the newly named Palo. Palo means spade and Cubo is bucket so I have a bucket and spade, perfect for the beach! Actually they both have the mange and I have stuff to inject them with for the next seven days. I tried to do it but the needle looked so big I chickened out. Paul can do it, he has emergency medical training, he has actually done injections in the past. I was feeling slightly guilty about giving Cubo mange by bringing the puppy home but the vet said he had it for longer than I have had the puppy. All the dogs here, or at least some of the scrawny ones that skulk around my house have it.

I am currently living in Temoris. Its in the middle of the mountains in Chihuahua and I love it. Its on the train line for the barrancas del cobre which is a huge canyon range strtching from the coast up to chihauhau city. In some places bigger and wider than the grand canyon.

Anyway its rainy season here at the moment and the land which was arid and dusty and bone dry before has suddenly sprung to life. At night the house is surrounded by fireflies and frogs creaking in the grass and crickets out making their song also. I painted a picture about it.

The nearby pond which honestly was a cracked brown piece of earth has turned into a bog pond. I went down at night to look at it and there was a frog singing beside my foot. A tiny green frog making a huge noise. I had a torch but couldn’t see him for ages because I was looking for a big thing not the tiny greenness the size of my thumbnail.

The yesterday I went out in the rain to look at the water and there are turtles in the water. I was so suprised. They must bury down deep into the mud for the rest of the year and just sleep until the water wakes them up and they emerge again. Today the purple dragonflies have arrived.

All is sunny and hot and swealtering until a rumble in the distance announces a storm is on the way. Clouds gather behind the mountain, dark and looming. Piling high with windows of sunshine coming through.

They work their way around and through the mountains, gathering behind peaks and then spilling over.

And look at this wee thing I found tied to a tree. I asked at nearby houses and they said he had been left there. Poor little squidge. They don’t look after animals very well here sometimes. I think a lot of time the poorer families are on survival for themselves and don’t have energy left over to look after dogs. Also there doesn’t seem to be any laws protecting animals or sterilization programs for strays. I found him only two days ago. He has been sleeping a lot and eating a lot and I have been bathing him to get rid of the fleas. I am worried about him today though, his nose is very hot, I hope he isn’t sick.

This is him waiting his turn at the food bowl. He will get his own bowl soon if he stays with us. He is feisty though, Cubo doesn’t know what to make of him. Two seconds after this photo was taken he pushed his way in past Cubo and growled at him! Cubo actually looked surprised and got out of the way.

I want to go back to the river beside the train station soon. I bet theres loads of water to go swimming in now!

my nephew, who I haven’t met yet. Very soon. I can’t believe I am an auntie, its great! My parents are finally grandparents. He is going to be the most spoilt grandkid in history, but then thats what grandparents are for isn’t it?

I get asked a lot here in mexico as to why I don’t have kids. They don’t understand the fact that I don’t want them. Women get pitying looks on their face and try to persuade me to give Paul a child. He is amazing with small children, they instantly adore him. But he is happy with what I want and thats what matters. It can annoy me sometimes when women here try to tell me I am missing out by not having children. I think sometimes women have children to fill a hole in their lives, to have someone to love. Not most of the time, but sometimes I wonder where the utter desperate need to have a child comes from in some women I meet or when they meet a woman who is happy without children to try to persuade her she is not a whole person without them. I feel for them, especially if they are trying and not succeeding to get pregnant. That must be hard, to want something that your body refuses to give you when it happens so easily for others.

I think the cultural identity of women is bound up in having children, especially in a society which is still male dominated and full of maschimo. The house is the womans centre of power here and she has to fulfill her role or she isn’t a ‘proper’ woman. In the village I was staying in recently the young women were watched by their brothers and fathers to make sure no improper behaviour took place. Made me appreciate growing up in Ireland.

Of course when they do get to me I realise there is a part of me that wonders what it would be like, “Am I missing out?” and sometimes (round the middle of my monthly cycle when the hormones are raging) I think ‘Lets do it!’ then that passes and I think phew.. Actually Paul was the first guy I was ever with I actually thought that about. It was really strange. I was afraid I was going to get ‘accidently’ pregnant so I went on the pill for a while. I want too many things for myself this life, I look at my life and where I want to be in the future and children just don’t appear in the picture. They are amazing and wonderful and they change your life and they bring a love with them that is so strong it can change the world, I just don’t feel the need to have my own, I am going to have to find that connection to the world myself, that power and love and bring it forth. Because thats what children give us, that connection to pure spiritual unconditional love that has no boundries and no limits. But we feel it for them because it is always present in us and we can feel that for the whole world.

I am just going to have to spoil my nephew and my friends kids and be the mad auntie who lives in strange parts of the world and comes to visit bearing gifts and sweets.

xx to all you childless women out there, whether by choice or not, there is an identity for women past the titles ‘mother’ and ‘grandmother’ and xx to all you women with children, if you ever need a babysitter I shall be glad to hang with the madness for a while. I used to babysit two small boys of a friend of mine a lot and it was organised chaos, amazing and I adored them but I was always happy to see her come home too, they wore me out and their batteries were still up and going. I think kids get duracell and adults have changed into a weaker brand.

So, its sunday morning and we are going to a water park today!! with slides and thermally heated water.. very exciting.

I decided its time for some pictures of where I live, I have been here in Guanajuato for on and off about two and a half years and it is such a sweet little town. Its safe to walk around in and its got wonderful reastaurants and some wonderful bars and a lack of good dancing places (unless of course you like salsa or rave, I like 70ties funk and good popping disco for a fun everynow and then and in general just a good mix of good music. The salsa thing is fun for a while but… I actually bought a cd so me and Paul can practise.

Guanajuato was built on gold and silver from the mines here, which have been mined for centuries. It has been the focal point of various uprisings and rebellions notably the one lead by a man named Hidalgo against the spanish who were taking all the silver and gold out of the country. Of course now its canadian and american companies taking all the mineral and paying the miners terribly, but now its legal.. go figure

I love guanajuatos winding streets and old colonial buildings, it has such a grace to it. It is snnuggled into a valley and the buildings wind their way up the sides of hills and then down the other side.

Good leg muscles from living here, most directions are either up or down. You can’t get lost really, just follow the flow of the hills down and you will end up on the main way that meanders through the town. If in a car and you want to go back you have to follow the circle until you can access an underground tunnel.

The view from our house up the hill. I take the dog for a walk up there most days.

My puppy!

not so little anymore, he is a big slobber monster and loves to bark at passing motorcycles and bicicles. People are scared of him because he is a rotweiller but really he is a big mush. There are a lot of strays here and they are all savvy street dogs wanting to defend their turf, and Cubo of course just wants to play, most of them are ok but there are one or two whose aim is to fight and I drag Cubo away from them both dogs barking furiously at each other with people screaming and scrambling to get out of the way!

A square with two great restaurants on it, a crepe place and to the right and french salad bar, mmmmmm, so good..

Jardin de La Union.. with teatro juarez to the left there, its a beautiful old theatre, all plush and gold and carvings of cherubs and things inside. On the top are statues representing al the arts, painting, music sculpture, etc

I am missing certain pictures, like a view from above and a picture of the purple trees in bloom, they come out every year this time, so pretty. We are in high desert here and the surrounding hills are brown now but come the rainy season in july and august then the thunderstorms come rolling in and the hills turn green and the Nopal cactus starts flowering and other plants I have no names for send forth colour. The cattle and the horses start looking sleeker and in every tiny pool and puddle tadpoles swarm.

Ok I am going to go make some more coffee and some breakfast and then off to swim!!