Sitting in Temoris train station waiting for the train I was thinking about waiting and what it means to me. We rushed to the train station to get there for the half three train only to be told it wasn’t going to arrive till seven. I used to hate waiting, I was the world’s worst waiter. I had to have something to amuse me while I waited; a book generally or my phone games or something to mull over or sketch. Anything to fill the gap so I wouldn’t have to reflect on me or my own life. I was actually the world’s best day dreamer also, when there was something I had to pay attention to off I would go into daydreams.
I had to change my view of life and come to peace with myself and the present moment before I could learn how to wait. How to be present and aware of each moment and use the pause in movement to look and take in where I was and where I was going.
The osho zen tarot have a wonderful card about waiting. She is pregnant and smiling, with a peaceful glow. Expectant possibility and looking forward to the future but also enjoyment and thankfulness for the gift of this growth and peacefulness in the acceptance that she is not going to rush what is coming, that would spoil it, she lets whatever is coming to develop in its own time and she holds it in her heart until it is ready to emerge.
October 14th, 2008 at 9:09 am
I think this is something I am learning. maybe it needs constant learning. This being in the moment. I think also allowing myself to feel my emotions, negative included, rather than rushing on to philosophizing or analyzing or even creating. And the patience. Life is what it is. It is not what it isn’t. Longing for the ‘isn’t’ isn’t going to help the “is.”
October 15th, 2008 at 11:35 am
yup, trying to reach the isn’t is a distraction from the ‘is’ and the mind not wanting to accept myself right now with my faults as well as my gifts. I can´t want to suddenly be patient ´NOW´ I have to accept the impatience and the frustration as part of the process and allow them to be there. Its hard sometimes,I just want to get through the negative emotions and get to peace and love (man)!