cliodhna’s wave

I am currently living in Temoris. Its in the middle of the mountains in Chihuahua and I love it. Its on the train line for the barrancas del cobre which is a huge canyon range strtching from the coast up to chihauhau city. In some places bigger and wider than the grand canyon.

Anyway its rainy season here at the moment and the land which was arid and dusty and bone dry before has suddenly sprung to life. At night the house is surrounded by fireflies and frogs creaking in the grass and crickets out making their song also. I painted a picture about it.

The nearby pond which honestly was a cracked brown piece of earth has turned into a bog pond. I went down at night to look at it and there was a frog singing beside my foot. A tiny green frog making a huge noise. I had a torch but couldn’t see him for ages because I was looking for a big thing not the tiny greenness the size of my thumbnail.

The yesterday I went out in the rain to look at the water and there are turtles in the water. I was so suprised. They must bury down deep into the mud for the rest of the year and just sleep until the water wakes them up and they emerge again. Today the purple dragonflies have arrived.

All is sunny and hot and swealtering until a rumble in the distance announces a storm is on the way. Clouds gather behind the mountain, dark and looming. Piling high with windows of sunshine coming through.

They work their way around and through the mountains, gathering behind peaks and then spilling over.

And look at this wee thing I found tied to a tree. I asked at nearby houses and they said he had been left there. Poor little squidge. They don’t look after animals very well here sometimes. I think a lot of time the poorer families are on survival for themselves and don’t have energy left over to look after dogs. Also there doesn’t seem to be any laws protecting animals or sterilization programs for strays. I found him only two days ago. He has been sleeping a lot and eating a lot and I have been bathing him to get rid of the fleas. I am worried about him today though, his nose is very hot, I hope he isn’t sick.

This is him waiting his turn at the food bowl. He will get his own bowl soon if he stays with us. He is feisty though, Cubo doesn’t know what to make of him. Two seconds after this photo was taken he pushed his way in past Cubo and growled at him! Cubo actually looked surprised and got out of the way.

I want to go back to the river beside the train station soon. I bet theres loads of water to go swimming in now!

On the drive through dirt roads and tall mountains covered in trees I saw a log on the side of the road which looked like a big bird. You know the way that happens. I got a feeling of a huge bird under the mountains, asleep, or singing softly. And me standing on top of the world (which is kind of what its like driving through these mountains in chihuahua). This is what emerged, the bird I saw was much darker, it being dusk and all. The green things in the ground are seeds waiting to become and the bird on the sky is waiting for the girl to walk to the sun.

This is a notebook page that has followed me round for many years waiting for its time. I did paint an oil painting about it a few years ago but it didn’t quite get there. maybe I will do something with old green eyes now.

Green eyes fell in love with the sea when she wore her robe of green.
But she wore her robe of green to mate with the sky and she loved the sky and green was the colour of her deepest secrets
He saw her robe of green quite by accident and his heart opened and his eyes changed colour. One should never see the secrets of the world by accident (though surely there are no true accidents). We are driven mad by knowledge when we learn it before our time.
He has lost his heart not to the sea, but to the seas green secret embroidered robe.

I got a comment from christina on the last post about living the attitude first and its actually quite true. Try this exercise.

This is a technique used by actors to get themselves into how someone else thinks or feels about themselves. It stretches their idea of themselves and of course to use on stage when showing the character of someone. It goes with the idea of how you hold your body is how you feel emotionally and this goes both ways. Your emotions inform how you hold your body but how you hold your body informs your emotions.

I think most people are completely unaware of how they hold themselves, or maybe are aware of certain ways but don’t see how they bend their neck forward or stick their arse out or shuffle maybe. I tend to do the duck feet. I saw a picture of me from reading something on a stage recently and I had tried to stand as centered as I could but when I saw the picture I realised my feet were both sticking out to the side. Duck feet..

So when you are walking behind someone in the street, or standing behind them in a queue or see someone with an interesting body posture you try to copy it (don’t let them see you! I have nearly been caught a few times) down to how they hold every part of their body, how they walk, do they stick their heads forward or lean back. Try it and see how it makes you feel. It works, you will feel the posture. Now when you go back to own posture see how that makes you feel in comparison and if there is anyway you can relax or straighten up. Most people walk from one place in their bodies. Stressed hurried people walk from the head and shoulders. Then theres the ‘cocksure’ walk of the young male, a swagger from below the hips. Or the chest out front walk of women in high heels.

Try it and let me know if anyone gets anything interesting… x

There is a place just the other side of what we think is reality. It shimmers and shifts and none of our rules apply.

Did you ever think about the fact that solidity is an illusion? that an atom is mostly empty space and it is only the electrical forces which hold the atom together that give us the impression of ’solid’

So back to possibility. Consider all your preconceptions of the world as the electrical force giving the illusion of solidity where as it is actually 90% empty space and we create the rest.

Sometimes I look at the world and I realise there isn’t actually ‘anything’ there. It is energy I am putting form on and time on and my wants and needs on. Sit in a place of nature where there are no people or signs of human constructions and think about time. It becomes meaningless; plants grow and die, trees shed their leaves and grow new ones, flowers emerge spread their seeds and then wither, it is an endless circle of change. It will circle forever, life surging forward. Basic scientific rule we all learn in school… energy cannot be created or destroyed.

It is only when we step in and put ‘time’ on things that we get lost in needing to put structure on outside of ourselves. We have invested huge amounts of energy into time, we must do so much, we will die and it will all be over, must achieve, must make money, not enough time, too late, too young, too old, too early, to fast, too slow, too much, too little, hours, minutes, seconds, days, months, years, decades, ancient, antique, new, old, fresh, stale, time is money, three minute pasta, 30 second meals, fast food, life expectancy, growing old, yesterday, tomorrow, five minutes ago, in an hours time, three hours long… etc, etc

We are running in circles trying desperately to keep up with ourselves.  There is no time, not as we have constructed it. We are immortal beings and time is a circle or a river we flow along and the only thing to do is relax and go with the flow. Its great when I remember this. I get lost sometimes in the ‘too old’ thoughts, or ‘not getting enough done in the day’ thoughts and it makes me worried and anxious and impatient and I feel like I am pushing against a wall or walking in a dream when I can’t seem to walk fast enough. I think about the illusion of time and I let it go and I can be happy again in the moment.

I got a text message from my brother today that my birthday portrait was up on flickr. Its strange looking at photos of myself but I really like this one. His site is at Flickr his sets are down the side. Some great ones in most interesting and some cool places in places mostly from his trip round the world a few years ago when he was laid off and given consolation prize of lots of money!

He is a really good photographer. he messes around with strange old fashioned cameras and at one stage was using coffee and lemon juice to develop the films. If you ever want portraits done give him a shout. i am constantly asking him when he is going to get an exhibition together or show his work in a cafe or a restaurant for sale. Since Mark has been born there has been nothing but baby photos and photos of mother and baby This one is one of favourites of Mark.

The colour is wonderful. Very subtle.  The next one is my sister with a double exposure. I love the way the  foliage is over her. She would prefer it without the camera around her neck.

And a cool one of a weird skyline developed with coffee..

and an amazing one of our dad looking very wise man of Aran

and I love this one

and of course the artist himself

wonderful!

nap done and I am feeling a lot more mentally together. Teaching is exhuasting. I am out of practise of how to appear like the stern teacher and I used to hate that bit anyway and also with a strange class it takes a while to get to know them. Its funny, with the discipline bit, I am not sure what my mother has in place as to what is acceptable and what is not but when someone does something thats really out of line then the rest of them freeze for a second. Then they realise I am not going to do anything and they go back to normal.. Trouble is in a classroom messing and noise escalates rather than them keeping themselves calm. They just get giddier and giddier.

Plus I am unknown territory so they have to try everything to see if they can get away with it. They started with the fake coughing round little break today until I offered to send anyone who wanted to go up to the principal to ring their mothers and tell them they were sick. That stopped that in a hurry. I think whats so tiring about it is that you can’t switch off for a second.

Schools have changed. When I was in primary it was all about sewing and art and drama and singing and projects with history and geography and maths fitted in round the sides of those. Now its all curriculum and there seems to be no time for what I would consider the important things. I ask myself why teach a young child endless facts about geography that he or she won’t remember when we should be teaching them creativity at a time when their minds are still forming and are open to new ways of thinking. Teach them the facts later when they will learn them faster. If I had a child I would definitely send them to a steiner or a waldorf school or teach them at home if I could.

Their pictures turned out great. I would take photos but the camera isn’t at home so…

I am teaching in my mums school for three days. I have a bunch of 12 year olds. 6th class. Already they have lost the innocent magic of the really young and now are worried that they can’t draw and anything they do will not live up to their own exact standards. Its kinda frustrating especially since I love what they produce, so fresh still and naive. I am doing an art project where they have thought of who they would like to be when they are older (outside any considerations of backround, whether they think they are clever enough, gender, in short anything the mind reckons is a reason not to do this) there are quite a few beauticians, an architect, a trillionare (I asked how she was going to get there and she said win the lotto, right…), a vet, and of course the usual few who shrug the shoulders and mutter ‘I dunno’ .

Tips for art in the classroom, particularly this age group

Talk about what you are going to do beforehand. Talk about the story or poem you want to do. Discuss with the class the kind of things they could put in the picture, ask them how they think they could illustrate the scene. They will give each other ideas. It helps to have a starting point, a theme a goal you can work towards. You can ditch the goal but its good to start out with one. Tie it in with music. The sorcerers apprentice, peter and the wolf, the nutcracker suite are a few good ones.

Stress most strongly the importance of drawing BIG. I find they gravitate towards small. Especially 10 to 12 year olds who are using pencils. Younger than that give them big chunky crayons and markers. I told them today I wanted the head at the top of the page and the feet down the bottom. Ask them whats in the backround, what else could you put in there, fill the page.

Get them to choose one scene or one character and develop it. In a scene maybe try to pick three characters and talk about how you could show the action happening. The thing is to get them thinking about the picture before they start drawing. To expand their ideas on what could be in a picture.

When using paint give them a tutorial in keeping the paints separate and washing the brush properly before they use it on the next colour. Give them big brushes.

At home you can give your child a wall and let them loose. When its full take a photo, paint it white again and they start over on a fresh wall.

For me its a balancing act between giving new skills and encouraging creativity and staying out of the way for them to discover it themselves. They get great satisfaction from gaining more control of the medium they are working in and discovering new ways of manipulating it and my job is to give them that and at the same time push them past the ‘I can’t draw’

They will draw the picture and then we are going to stick fabric instead of paint. I have buttons and sequins for them to sew on and wool for hair. Should be fun.

and there is no such thing as not being able to draw

When it rains white fox puts on her rain dress and goes dancing.

Celebrate sadness, be happy you are crying, sadness is moving through you, you are not the sadness, but it is being cleared for something clearer and fresher. A peace, an acceptance of life in all its forms. Unafraid you face the unknown and welcome it.

xx